


Unspeakable

by Kaira_chan



Category: Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)
Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mystery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-03-31
Updated: 2010-04-02
Packaged: 2017-10-08 13:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/76220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaira_chan/pseuds/Kaira_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian told Ciel goodbye and left the boy absolutely traumatized. With no wish to live and no want to see anyone or to continue running the Funtom business, Ciel is just begging to die. It's already been two years without Sebastian and life is unbearable, so on an outting with Tanaka and Finnian something changes. He spots a young girl and talking to a man who she calls Sebastian. But is it really him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sebastian

_My contract with Sebastian has long came to a halt, I have no use for his existence anymore, so what happens next? Isn't he supposed to devour me; make me one with his demonic soul?_

Ciel looked out the window of his manor and over his garden. He no longer has use for an eye patch, his eye had gone back to normal after his wish was fulfilled.

Sighing, Ciel turned away. _If that is so, then why did he run away? I've no need to continue living anyway. My purpose and will to live has run dry. The queen doesn't even need my assistance anymore. Everything doesn't make sense! I don't wish to live anymore... Not if Sebastian can't stay by my side! I wish it not!_

Suddenly angered, Ciel slammed his hands upon his desk, shaking.

“Young master?”

Someone knocked on his office door.

“I-”

“Go away!” Ciel cried, not wishing to see anyone.

Ever since Sebastian had said “Goodbye,” Ciel had been unable to see anyone, much less eat. With Sebastian gone, life had just been different. There was no one to wake him up in the morning, no one to make tea or pastries... No one to come to his rescue, despite orders.

_Gone, Sebastian left me behind!_

**~Two years later~**

 

“You never seem to loose your remarkable ability to make interesting toys, Count Ciel.”

Before Ciel stood a elderly man, dressed in a short tailed coat, black pants, and shiny shoes.

“My company would love to work along side with the Funtom company.”

Ciel looked up to the man from where he sat and said quite dryly, “No fool would make connections with your dieing company. You would drag me down.”

Looking quite furious, the man left. His pride stripped from him.

Ciel turned his attention to the mail before him, then shoved them off the desk; no matter how hard he tried and no matter what foolish thing he did, the Funtom company would not fall.

“Young master.”

Ciel paid no mind to Tanaka as he walked in, head low. “The carriage is ready.”

 

In the carriage, Ciel had his head leaned on the window and didn't pay any mind to Tanaka who watched worriedly over him.

Outside it was drizzling slightly. Not much rain was to fall today, this would be the most of it, but it made the day vary dreary. Everything was gray, not even the bright colors of peoples clothing could make the world brighter. Dull, the shops, the sky, the people...

“Sebastian!”

Ciel's head jerked up at the high pitched call of a girl.

“Sebastian, wait....” The voice faded away as the carriage furthered itself from the person.

“Stop the carriage!” Ciel yelled, swinging the door open.

Finny pulled on the reins, surprised as Ciel jumped out and ran off.

“Young Master!!”

Ciel pushed and shoved his way through the crowd. Being sixteen had given him height and some muscle. The people were taking forever to get out the way, they were just sauntering along like there was no one yelling at them to move.

At the end of the road he saw what he was looking for. A young girl with a smile on her face. She wore a bright yellow dress and someone was holding a white umbrella over her head. Ciel couldn't see the person, only their hand. The person was hidden by the corner wall.

“Seba-” Ciel tried to call out but people got in his way.

He was close, close enough to hear them, but not close enough to see.

“Sebastian, where should we go next?”

“At your wish my lady we shall go anywhere.”

“But Sebastian!” The crowd broke and Ciel saw the girl again as she grabbed the hand that was holding the umbrella. “Sebastian needs to suggest a place too!”

The girl looked up to the person with a slight pout and her brows were furrowed. Ciel wanted to get closer, but was afraid, was that person the girl was talking to-?

The girl took the umbrella into her hand, allowing the slight rain to dampen her dark hair.

“My lady, the rain,” the person stepped forward, but before his face could be revealed, the girl pushed him back, “No, don't my lady me Sebastian. Where would you like to go?”

The person's hand fell and Ciel heard him sigh. “Anywhere my Lady wishes to go, I wish to go.”

The girl's face softened. “What's wrong Sebastian?” she reached up to him.

“Do not worry my lady, I am fine.”

The girl turned her head to the side, gold eyes sympathetic. “I want to go home.”

The hand took the umbrella and the girl's hand. “Then we shall go home.”

The girl smiled and followed along happily.

Ciel's legs started to move and he ran to look around the corner, but the girl and the person was gone.

“That voice...” Ciel's body started to shake, “That voice was...”

“Young master?”

Ciel turned around and saw Tanaka and Finny.

“What's wrong?” Finny asked, seeing Ciel's distressed face.

Ciel's eyes were distant as he continued to speak. “That voice was Sebastian's...”

Finny exchanged glances with Tanaka, unsure what to think. traumatized


	2. Meiri is his master

Ciel sat in his bedroom, the curtains drawn back, trapping in all the darkness. Tanaka and Finnian had tried countless times to get Ciel to tell them what he meant about Sebastian, but Ciel had just ordered them to leave. Now, all Ciel could do was stare into space and replay the earlier moment in his head over and over again.

The voice was most definitely Sebastian... He even kept the name Sebastian... Shouldn't his new master give him a new name?

Ciel held his pillow and remembered the last time Sebastian had given it to him. It was the night that Sebastian had staged his death. After that incident, Ciel ordered Sebastian to never do such folly again.

Sebastian had listened. Sebastian had listened to everything that Ciel had ever ordered him to do, except save his life. Ciel never understood that reasoning. If Ciel told Sebastian to kill someone, his butler should comply, but when Sebastian has seen Ciel in trouble, he forgot about his first order and saved the boy.

“It doesn't make sense!”

Ciel held the pillow tighter and leaned forward and as much as he wished to cry, not a tear could be shed. After Sebastian left, he took all Ciel's tears with him.

“Sebastian, you fool, who told you that you could leave?!”

 

“Sebastian, Sebastian!”

Sebastian turned to look behind him and found a small girl running to him. He placed down the serving dish in his hand and knelt down, brow raised.

“What is it Meiri?”

Meiri ran up to Sebastian and wrapped her arms around the butlers neck.

“We just got home, why are you working?”

“Well,” Sebastian smiled lightly and pushed back the stray hairs from the girls face, “Your father has asked me to prepare a early dinner.”

Meiri sighed and let her head fall back in a exaggerated manner. “Papa is always ordering you around, who's butler are you, his or mine, I sometimes wonder.”

“Why,” Sebastian pulled the gentle grasp Meiri had on him off and stood, “I am your butler of course, but is it bad to help your parents?”

Meiri pouted. Sebastian looked down at her from the corner of his eye and smiled. “What is it my lady?”

“You spoke to me as if I were a child again,” Meiri folded her arms and glared at Sebastian with her gold eyes.

Sebastian chuckled and picked back up the serving plates and walked outside the manor house, Meiri at his heels.

“You are a child Meiri.”

“I am not!” Meiri called out quickly, “I'm fifteen this year.”

“But you still act like a child,” Sebastian walked around the manor to the back where there was a gazebo, where dinner would be served picnic style.

“Humph.”

“Is not a word,” Sebastian placed down the serving dishes as Meiri propped herself up on the railing around the gazebo.

“Na, Sebastian, can I ask you something?”

“I do not have but a choice to answer if you ask my lady,” Sebastian looked at Meiri fondly.

Meiri swung her feet from her perch and spoke, “What was your last master like?” She looked away as if the question was a ordinary one.

“Nothing like you.”

“What does that mean?” Meiri looked back to Sebastian.

“He was conniving and business savvy.”

“Really?” Meiri looked down to her swinging legs, “Is he the one gave you the name Sebastian?”

Sebastian nodded.

“And you liked it so much that when I asked you if there was a name that you preferred to have that you chose that one?”

“No.”

Meiri jerked her head up, “Then why did you choose it?”

Sebastian smiled gently and mysteriously, “It's because I liked him so much that when you asked me if there was a name that I preferred I kept my old one.”

Meiri jumped down form the railing and walked away. “You are a cruel butler.”

Sebastian watched Meiri walked away and smiled. From his pocket, he took out his watch and looked at it. “By now,” he said in a low voice, “If he did not change his schedule, Botchan should be having tea at his desk.” Sebastian's eyes softened as he kissed the watch and followed after his new master.


	3. He is Not Sebastian

“There shall be a dinner party starting sharply at six tonight, then after, you will return back here to finish your paper work,” Tanaka stood in front of Ciel, a paper in his hand as he read the list of things to do. He looked up from the list and continued, “When should I come and dress you, young master?”

Ciel kept his eyes on the work in front of him and answered in an uninterested tone, “Never, don't come, I will dress myself,” he shifted the papers, still looking them over, “You can leave now, I will call you if I need anything.”

Tanaka bowed, then left.

Ciel had taught himself rather quickly how to dress himself and even learned how to tie his own shoes. He didn't want anyone's hands other than Sebastian's to touch his skin. It was a infatuation, Ciel soon realized. An infatuation he had with his former butler. It was something that he couldn't get rid of. It was a reckless weakness and as much as Ciel hated his weaknesses, this was something he liked to feel. He had enjoyed Sebastian's presence and now that it was gone, his addiction to the demon couldn't be cured.

Ciel looked at the papers in his hands, then closed his eyes, exhausted, he couldn't forget about yesterday. It was a mystery that he will probably never be able to investigate. That annoyed him. If he knew that his servants had the appropriate abilities to do such jobs, he would have sent them out in a heartbeat to find the girl and her butler, but they didn't, so he didn't send them anywhere.

In his unsettled nap on his hand, Ciel felt a hand touch his shoulder. Before, his eyes would have flown wide open and yell out Sebastian's name, but Ciel had soon realized that what he was feeling was just an illusion. So he would hold very steady and allow his mind to fool him.

“Botchan, you will get a cold sleeping here.”

Ciel struggled to keep his eyes closed, he knew Sebastian wasn't there, it would just hurt too much to look now.

“You should keep the window closed if you know your tired,” the voice sighed, annoyed, “What am I to do with you?”

Ciel's eyes became moist as he slowly let his eyes open to look at the door in front of him. It was cold in the room.

“Would you like me to get you some tea?”

The window behind Ciel closed, making him look around himself.

“Seba-?”

Ciel cut himself off when he saw the closed window. What he had just heard now was a illusion, so why was the window closed? He stood and walked to the window and touched the cold glass. There were no finger prints, not that there should be any. Sebastian always wore gloves, but as he looked out the window, he swore he saw a crow fly past. Ciel looked away, heart pounding and gripped his chest. With a pained expression, he walked out the office to his room to dress himself in silence.

 

Sebastian sat in front of the manor he served, a Siamese cat his lap. It was Meiri's cat and the butler had taken a slight liking to it.

“There you are Cherry!”

Meiri came out the manor house in a light blue dress and scooped the cat out of Sebastian's lap into her arms. “I have been looking everywhere for you and here you are with my butler!” She rubbed her face against the soft fur of the cat, smiling. “You shouldn't betray me to him you know!”

Sebastian looked to Meiri and rose his brow. “Are you done with you lessons for today?”

Meiri froze, then smiled sheepishly. “Lessons? What lessons do you speak of Sebastian?”

Sighing and displeased, Sebastian stood. “Your violin lessons, dancing lessons, etiquette lessons, and-”

Meiri allowed Cherry to jump from her arms so she could cover ears. “Ahh, Sebastian is being a moderator!” she turned away to run into the house and hide, but Sebastian grabbed the tie on her dress, making her stop dead. If there was anything Meiri hated most was the ribbon to her dress to be untied. She liked the bouncy, tidy look to it and didn't want it to be undone when it was tied.

“Don't you dear, Sebastian!”

“My lady, where are your teachers?”

Meiri bit her lips, keeping them tightly closed.

Sebastian pulled gently on the ribbon and instantly Meiri answered, “In my closet tied and gagged!”

Sebastian sighed and stepped up to the girl to fix the ribbon, “Why my lady?”

“Because they are snotty tutors and I hate them,” Meiri folded her arms. “Why can't Sebastian teach me? I know you can.”

“Would you like me to? You have never ordered me to so,” Sebastian looked about his work on the ribbon and smiled.

Meiri turned to look at Sebastian, arms folded. “I don't like giving orders. Can't you just do what I want when I ask politely?”

“No, I can't, that's not how it works.”

Meiri rolled her eyes and walked off the steps to go into the yard.

“Are you going to look after my tutors?”

Sebastian followed, shaking his head. “No, but isn't there something you would like to order me to do?”

Meiri looked at Sebastian, brows raised. “Do you have a need to be completely controlled by someone lesser than you, akuma-kun?”

Sebastian smiled, then bowed. “Give me the order, my lady.”

Pouting, Meiri said, face red, “You will become my tutor and get rid of the others...” she paused, “That is a order.”

Sebastian took the girl's hand in his and kissed it. “Your wish is but my command, my lady.”

Meiri looked away, embarrassed.

“Now,” Sebastian stood, “With that aside, don't you have a party you need to get ready for?”

“What?” she looked up to him, “What.... Oh my GODDD!” Meiri hiked up her dress and ran into the manor yelling all the while that she needed a maid to come to her room and help her get dressed.

 

Ciel walked out his room and down to the parlor and looked over it from the stairs. Many people had already gathered for this party and none of them were here with the counts best interest in mind. They only attended with hopes of furthering their fortune with the help of the counts success.

Everyone looked up, realizing the young count and stopped talking.

Ciel made his way down quietly, then stopped at the head of the stairs. “Shall we let this dining party begin-”

“I'm so sorry!”

Ciel stopped abruptly and looked at the doors to his manor and was surprised to see the dark haired girl from before.

She curtsied elegantly, even in her rush and placed a bright smile on her face. “I am sorry for my lateness, Count Ciel.”

Ciel wasn't sure how to react and was even more unsure when a elegant, tall, butler strode up behind the girl. Ciel's mind went completely blank.

“Seba-”

The butler looked up from attending the girl, making Ciel stop what he wished to say, for instead of seeing red eyes, he found bright green ones and instead of nicely cut hair that stopped around the shoulders, the butler had long shining black hair that was tied back with red string.

“Is there something wrong Count Ciel?” the girl asked worried.

The butler's green eyes turned away from Ciel and looked back to his master, fondly helping her into the manor. It was then, when the butler turned away that Ciel came to the realization that this butler was not his. Sebastian would have never turned away so callously and attend to another being.

_No..._

“No,” Ciel smiled half heartily, “I am sorry, please, continue to the dining hall.”

_That man can not be Sebastian._

Ciel guided the way into the hall.

_There just isn't anyway possible way that he could be._


	4. Her butler: the mystery

Sebastian stood diligently behind Meiri, head straight, not looking at anything and only spoke when Meiri spoke to him.

“Count Ciel, this is lovely food,” one of the guests spoke up, “Did your chef make this?”

“With much effort, yes, he did,” Ciel nodded and the table laughed. Ciel didn't even intend the statement to be a joke.

After that though, no one seemed interested in making conversation with the Earl, instead they boasted with the other guests about who had more power and money, as if that would even impress Ciel. Which of course, he wasn't. When everyone was done eating, they stood and talked like that with drinks in their hands and women at their sides. Ciel found this absolutely disgusting. If any of these people wished to be his partner in business, then Ciel couldn't tell, because they didn't seem to be trying.

“Sebastian!” Meiri pulled on Sebastian's coat and looked eagerly at the Earl from across the room.

“Yes Meiri?”

“Should I approach him?” Meiri bit her lip, “Mother and Father couldn't be here, so they sent me in their place, but I have not the slightest idea what to talk about!”

“Just talk about the clothing company my lady,” Sebastian placed Meiri's arm on the inside of his and strode over to Ciel. Meiri was quite reluctant and was constantly pulling Sebastian back, but as it would go, the butler was much stronger.

“Sebastian, I don't like this idea at all, I have not the slightest idea what to-” Meiri stopped talking when she realized Ciel had looked at her. She gulped, she couldn't read his deep blue eyes at all. They seemed to hold so many secrets.

“Um,” she looked to Sebastian who bowed his head slightly, making her curtsy, “I am Meiri Renoir. I come as a replacement for my parents who couldn't be here today.”

Ciel rose his brow, forcing himself to give his complete attention to the girl and not the butler.

“Oh really and what company do your parents take charge of?”

“Well,” Meiri allowed herself to look directly at Ciel, but felt rather intimidated, “They traffic famous paintings around the world, they also document and renew the paintings.”

This statement was rewarded with a smile. “How ironic, your last name is Renoir and your family traffics paintings, you wouldn't happen to have some type of relation to Pierre-Auguste Renoir, now would you?”

Meiri blinked, then nodded, “Yes, he's my father's brother.”

“Interesting and what would a prospering company like yours need with my toy and candy industry?” Ciel tapped his finger on his cane.

“To be quite blunt, I have not the slightest idea,” Meiri peeked up to Sebastian and saw him look away with disappointment, “But one of the reasons must entail money. I am sure my family wishes to make more money and ensure business by having ties with yours. With this type of connection, I'm sure that both our companies will continue running for a long time to come.”

Ciel laughed slightly, “Really? What makes you think, Ms. Renoir, that I wish to continue running the Funtom company?” this took Meiri off guard, “I have no wish to continue with the Funtom company, but you have intrigued me to the point of amusement, I think that a connection between our companies can be made. Even if I plan to stop working soon.”

Meiri didn't understand a word that was coming out of Ciel's mouth, but she caught enough to know that he had said yes to her request.

All the guests turned to look at Meiri, appalled that she was able to get Ciel to comply with her.

Ciel waved his hand to the crowd, a smile still on his face. “You may all leave now, I have no need for scoundrels such as the lot of you.”

“Now just hold on a damn moment!” a person from the crowd yelled and stepped forward, “I don't care who you are, I am sick and tired of being pushed around by a mere minor!” the man rushed forward and revealed a small knife. He seemed drunk and disillusioned as he ran forward on unstable legs. The man was so drunk that he mistook Meiri for the Earl and rushed at her instead.

Meiri didn't even bat an eye. “Don't ruin my accomplishment with your alcohol ridden breath.”

Sebastian stepped in front of Meiri, grabbed the man under his forearm, then pushed the rest of his hand downwards. Through out the silenced room, the sound cracking of bone could be heard.

Ciel stood in utter surprise, Tanaka was now at his side and the rest of his servants appeared in front of the door, ready to protect, but it didn't seem like their assistance would be needed.

Meiri had turned her back to Ciel to look about her butler. The man fell in a jummbled mess howling with his immobile arm I being cradled by his other hand. Meiri spun around to look at the very surprised Ciel.

“I am very sorry for the disturbance, we should talk on a later day when we have no interruptions. Please, feel free to notify me as soon as possible so we can talk about our companies.”

With that, she left, her butler at her heels. All the while Ciel stared after the girl, confused on a level that he could not explain. The girl he had just met with a personality that seemed to change so rapidly from unsure statements to a sadistic behavior reminded him so much of the past that it was almost like watching the past replay right in front of him. There was a similarity the girl had to Ciel's old self. A similarity that made him cringe with the remeberance.

What was it? What was the thing that made them so alike?

Ciel held his head with one hand and walked away from Tanaka. “Make sure they leave.”

“Yes, young master,” Tanaka held out his arm, guiding the people towards the door, “The exit is the way, ladies and gentlemen,” he looked to Bard, “Look after our injured guest will you?”

Bard nodded.

Mey-rin and Finnian watched over the people as they all left in stupor.

 

From his bedroom window, Ciel only had eyes for the carriage manned by Sebastian. If that wasn't him, then Ciel didn't know who would be, but why after two years would he just suddenly show up? And with another master for that matter?

“Stupid butler, it can't be you.”


End file.
